Imagine this. You just drove 45 minutes to see the Rangers get shit on by the Astros at Globe Life Park in Arlington. You pull up to a parking lot a quarter mile away from the stadium but it’s cool because part of our hypothetical service is a complimentary shuttle to the stadium. Our poorly groomed valet guy (or girl, we don’t give a shit!) hands you a stub as you exit your car and you’re on your way to the stadium with feet kicked back and a beer in your hand (if it’s legal for us to do that – we haven’t checked into it).

Three excruciatingly boring hours of baseball pass, and you exit your suite (that’s called a target market, baby) with your family a few steps behind you because they know you don’t want to talk about it.

You still can’t shake those negative feelings even as you hop back into the six row golf cart waiting at the gate to drive you to your car, but…what’s this?  Is that…is that your car? It’s…it’s so fucking clean! Holy shit! How could a car get so clean while you were too busy having a bad time to even notice? Oh, that’s right. It looks like that because while you were inside the stadium it got vacuumed, washed, waxed, detailed, and driven around the parking lot by a seventeen year old valet who fucking loves crossover Mercedes. Yeah.

This is what we in the game like to call a “two birds, one stone” idea. You have to park anyway, why not get some additional benefits?

Boom. Another full and fully viable business model.

Again if anyone actually uses this idea Venmo me 1% of your first five years’ profit please or I’ll fucking sue your ass into the ground. Thanks guys.

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