Wireless iPhone charging pads. Those alone are sick, right? But they’re only the beginning of what’s possible.

Knowledge of this newly created product got the ball rolling in one of my highly creative friend’s alcoholic brain. If you can do that with phones, he thought, why not do it with electric cars?

Imagine this: you drive your Tesla into the garage of your mansion after a long day of not working that hard because you’re fucking rich. Now, normally, this would be the moment when your butler comes out, flips open the charging port just behind your Tesla suicide doors, and plugs in your car. But instead, something much easier happens: nothing. No one has to lift a finger, because when you drove into your garage, you inadvertently parked on top of Elon Musk’s newest brainchild: cordless Tesla charging pads. The electric refueling process started before you even got out of the car, and by the morning, your batteries are at 100%. Revolutionary.

It’s a wild thought, I know. It would’ve seemed unrealistic a couple years ago but technology has advanced to the point where this is a very real possibility. So get to the engineering lab and cook up some of that good science. God knows I can’t.

But what I can do is hire a lawyer and end your fucking life. So get it done, make your millions, and Venmo me a fraction of a percentage so that doesn’t happen. Let’s make this world a better place, together!

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