This one is pretty self-explanatory, and there’s a huge market for it. Literally everyone has a shitty ex, and what better way to highlight the fact that they’re shitty than to literally put actual shit on a printout of their face?

That’s our pitch: a company capable of creating toilet paper with a customized image on every square. Sure, you can print your ex, but the options are limitless: shitty step-dad, dick professor, the former boss who fired you, an ex-wife, your least favorite child…the list goes on and on.

The over-under on rolls produced without paying me before I sue you is six, and I’m pretty confident on the under. But let’s get this idea rolling! Get it! Pun: intended!

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