Finding the perfect equilibrium between the hot and cold knobs of a shower system is a nearly impossible dance of little twists and turns that either scorch you or freeze you, and 99% of the time ends in you settling for a temperature that’s “close enough.”

But “close enough” is no way for you to live your life, and tests of this nature result in a loss of millions of gallons of water and thousands of frustrating minutes every year.

Not to worry, though. We have a solution for you, coming in hot. But not too hot. Just the right amount of hot. It’s actually the perfect temperature solution.

Showers that let you select water temperature. Hot tubs do it. Why shouldn’t showers be capable of the same thing? Imagine spending one morning after the installation of your fancy new human watering system finding your ideal cleansing temperature, up to a tenth of a degree in precision, and then using that temperature setting for the rest of your life. It’s like a less useful version of memory seating in fancy cars. Press a button on your door when you get in and boom, your seat is at exactly the right angle, with exactly the right lumbar support, the exact distance from the steering wheel and gas pedals you need for the perfect driving experience.

What, you might be asking, if my ideal water temperature is 103.4 degrees, but my younger brother is a sociopath who prefers a chilling 96.2 degrees? Easy. Each shower knob would have ten programmable temperature settings, and all it would take is two clicks to switch back and forth between yours and the one that sucks.

This is a pretty useful innovation – it brings showers up to speed with modern times. For that reason, I’m asking for 2% of profits for the next 15 years. And by asking I mean I’m going to sue you to the point of never being able to shower again if you don’t fork over my share.

Much love! I look forward to living in a world featuring your creation and my idea! Good luck, whoever makes this!  

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